How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
