I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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