She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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