is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
