Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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