my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
