I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
