Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
