Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Non-Jews are for practice
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
as a side note pls kill me
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