I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
