please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
