I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
