hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
