I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
