Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
handjob tips. give me some.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
