i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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