New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
