Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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