so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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