How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
