Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
