my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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