But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
