Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
