just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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