i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
