And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
We smell like vodka and hangover
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