Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
