Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there's paper in my vomit.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
