Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
