don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
