Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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