i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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