didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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