Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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