Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
