shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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