I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
