is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
