I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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