is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
