It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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