Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
