i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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