Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
