In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
