I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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