Cold hands, warm shart.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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