Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
