I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
