Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize