i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
