were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
