she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
