He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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